Question, please!
by guren666
Summary: True story about why Jeff left the WWE. Pure crackfick. Rated T for now. A must read story!


Question, please!

AN- Here's a little present from me to everyone around the world. Merry Christmas!

||Backstage||

Jeff was sitting in his locker room after tonight's tough triple threat match. He gave out all of his energy. So now he had to recharge. Adam aka Edge went to buy him his favourite Skittles. Jeff thought of a nice shover. Right now it was occupied by Mike aka The Miz and he was the second Lex Luger. No offense intended. He took always and I mean always at least two hours in there. "Damn that Mike. I'm beaten and I can't have a refreshing shover because he is a fucking narcissist." You didn't know? Why do you think he says that he is awesome? I say that he is mizerable. Mizerable, do you got it? Haha. Or take Cody Rhodes for example. He is one, too.

Jeff looked at the big watch. 11pm. Great. Where's Adam? Then the door opened harshly and revealed sweated Adam. He closed the door and gave Jeff a packet full of Skittles. "Yay! Thanks, Adie!" And gave him a small kiss on the cheek. Adam blushed.

"Um. Jeff, I'm straight." Jeff blinked. "So am I. Why do you say such weird things?" Adam sighed. "Okay, Jeff. I'll explain it now. First, of all, you are way too polite, nice to everyone. Second, your dancing is very disturbing and sexistic. You wear that thing hanging on every match and of course it catches people's eyes on your ass." Jeff dramatically pointed at him. " Aha! You just admited that you stare at my ass, so that makes you a gay!" Adam rolled jis eyes. "Hardy, your deduction is unlogic. You know what?"

Jeff raised his eyebrow."What?" "Let's ask some other people form Smackdown and Raw. Theyl'll tell you the same thing." Jeff stood up. "You're on, Copeland." They walked out of his locker room and headed to the next room- DX. Adam knocked.

"Come in." Came the answer. Jeff stepped in. Shawn and Paul were sitting on a bench. When they saw Jeff and Adam, they stopped their discussion. Shawn looked at them. "Can we help you?" Adam wanted to say something, but Jeff interrupted him.

"Shawn and Paul. I only need an answer. Do you stare at my ass?" DX exchanged confused looks and then started to laugh hysterically. Jeff was impatient, Adam was grinning like a mad man. After a while Paul calmed down as first. "What kind of question is that?" Adam laughed. "We're having a little poll. Can you answer us?"

Shawn got a great idea( in his opinion). "Okay, we will. But we'll call some other people from both rosters. And they will answer you as well. What do you say?" Adam smiled. "That would be great. Can you do it immediately?" Shawn grinned. " Of course. They don't call me the Showstopper for nothing, you know?"

Paul showed them the couch. "Sit down for now. Shawn will call everyone available." Jeff's eyes widened a bit. "Everyone? I don't need everyone. Divas are out of question. Call only guys,okay?" Shawn nodded. "Whatever you say, Hardy. What about your brother?" Matt wouldn't like it, Adam thought. "That wouldn't be a good idea." Shawn nodded again. He picked up his phone and called some people to come to DX locker room for a „surprise situation„ . That made everyone curious.

As first came the SES, well, only CM Punk an Luke Gallows. Punk looked at them. "I don't know why I even bothered to come here." Adam stared at him, annoyed. "Just sit down, Punkster." Punk groaned, but then he sat down. Luke sat next to him. As next came the Brothers of Destruction- Mark aka The Undertaker and Glen aka Kane. Glen pulled Mark behind him forcefully. "Come on,it's DX. It'll be fun." Mark sighed." If you say so…" And they sat down." Someone knocked on the door." Come in." Paul said.

John Cena came together with Randy Orton. John grabbed him by a hand." Come on,let's sit down." Randy nodded and let John take him to the nearest bench. Jeff looked around. "Anyone else is coming?" Randy nodded again. " You can't speak?" Adam teased him.

Randy looked at him, hostile. "Of course I can. I just don't feel like talking." Shawn counted them. "Only six… Where are the others?" John let go of Randy's shoulder. "Oh, there's a crowd at the 'll be here soon." Mark crossed his arms.

"So,what's this „surprise situation„ ? Or is this some stupid joke from DX again?" Adam shook his head. "Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, Deadman. Just wait a little more." … "Whatever." Jeff sensed the waves of hostility in the air. "Come on, guys. We're almost a family. Put that attitude away. We're not on TV." Everyone stared at him. Jeff felt nervous. "Uh, I mean for now."

Adam sighed. " Jeff, don't panic for every little shit. We just wanted to startle you." Jeff felt relieved. "Oh, I'm glad. WAIT. YOU...!" Another knock sounded. "Come in." Said Paul. The door opened and showed a freshly bathed Mike aka The Miz, Cody Rhodes,Ted Dibiase, Carlito, John Morrison, Drew McIntyre,Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry, Big Show, Jack Swagger, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Batista, Alberto Del Rio, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Evan Bourne, Zack Ryder, Kurt Hawkins, R-Truth, MVP, Tyler Reks, Chavo Guerrero, The Great Khali, Kaval and Chris Jericho. Shawn took charge of the situation. "Okay, people. Everyone sit down and Adam and Jeff will tell you everything." They sat down and looked at them, curious. All of them formed a giant circle and in center were Jeff and Adam. Adam looked at them. He coughed. "Alright. Now that everyone is here, I want you all to honestly and truly answer Jeff's question. So, can we begin?" Everyone nodded.

Jeff stepped closer and gathered his courage. "Um, I'm going to ask only once, so listen carefully. You all do remember that on every match I wear that scarf like cloth, right? So, here's my question. " Every person in the room looked at him, waiting. Shawn grinned a little.

"Do you stare at my ass because of it?" There was silence for a while. Then came the reactions. Some like Shawn, Miz, John Morrison and Chris Jericho laughed. While some like The Undertaker, Kane, The Great Khali and Big Show looked scared by that kind of idea. And some like Adam, John Cena, Randy Orton and Jack Swagger blushed. Jeff waited patiently. "Well, anyone is going to answer?"

….." No one?"… Adam felt that this would have no end. Then he got an idea. "Jeff, could I have your white scarf?" Jeff handed it over to him. Adam put the white cloth on Jeff's eyes. "Hey, what's that for?" Adam whispered something in his ear. That calmed him down. The others only looked at them. What the hell?

Adam coughed again. "Since nobody wants to begin, I felt that blinding Jeff is the only way. He won't see anything, only hear us. And now, listen. If your answer is yes, go stand next to Jeff. And if your answer is no, go and stand next to me."

Brave one Shawn moved as first towards Jeff. Paul came as second. Randy and John moved next. They were followed by Miz, John Morrison,Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Ted Dibiase, Jack Swagger, Kaval,Batista, Alberto Del Rio, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, R-Truth, MVP, Chavo Guerrero,Carlito, Chris Jericho, The Great Khali, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov. There were still some people left. Mark Henry loked at Adam, then towards people surrounding Jeff. He went to Jeff.

Undertaker, Kane and Big Show had problems with deciding,too. But they went over to Jeff after all. Evan Bourne, Kurt Hawkins and Zack Ryder moved to Charismatic Enigma. Now the only ones left were CM Punk and Luke Gallows. Punk went over to Jeff, smirking. Luke followed him, smirking. Adam watched it all with growing amusement. "Okay, now. Jeff. Do you want to hear the good or bad news first?" Jeff pouted. "Let's hear the good one first." Adam laughed.

"No one is standing next to me. That means everyone is around you. Their answer is yes." Jeff almost fell off his feet. "That's a good one?" Adam cocked his head to the side, smiling. "You can take it off your eyes." Jeff did so. He saw everyone standing very close to him. Only Adam was so- away from him. Jeff feared to ask.

"W-What's the bad one?" Adam came closer. He had that maniac look in his eyes everytime he wanted to Spear someone. He put his hands around Jeff's waist.

"HEHEHAHAHA! WE'RE GOING TO STRIP YOU NAKED AND THEN WE'LL SEE WHAT WE DO FURTHER!"

Jeff screamed like in horror movie.

"NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo!" He miraculously got out from that lot of bodies, still fully dressed. He ran to the main door and exited the building.

Adam laughed like a psychopath. Everyone laughed really hard. Shawn dried his cheek from tears. "Ow, man. I didn't do such a good prank on someone in years!" CM Punk agreed. "Yeah, he totally fell for it. Do you people think he'll show up anytime soon?"

Randy nodded. "He will show up. When the shock is gone, he'll know that it was just a prank." Everyone nodded in unison.

OOOH, BOY. They were sooooo wrong…

That night Jeff called Vince and said, that he wants to quit. Vince wanted to know why, but Jeff wouldn't say the reason. "Hardy, you're on the main event. You can't just quit. Make it at least a match. How about it?" Jeff thought about it. It's for my sake, I must… or else… he thought. "Okay, Vince. Tell me when and with who."

"In three weeks between you and CM Punk. First, you have to built up a storyline. We'll start tomorrow." Jeff felt lighter. As if something heavy fell off his chest. "I got it. Bye."

|| Some monts later….||

After he was finally released from WWE, Jeff got back to TNA, where he started. Ever since that day, Jeff doesn't wear any kind of cloth hanging from his pocket.

THE END

_I know that most lf people in this story aren't in WWE anymore, but stick with it. I needed them for this. I hope you liked it. I wish you all Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Now, please review. For the sake of Christmas:D And me. That's all, folks!_


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